Mali PM forced to quit as army strengthens grip

(Reuters) - Mali's prime minister was forced to resign on Tuesday by the soldiers who staged a coup in March, underscoring the military's continuing grip and complicating international efforts to help push Islamists from the north.

Once a beacon of democracy in West Africa, Mali has been mired in crisis since the coup, when ethnic Tuareg rebels and al Qaeda-linked Islamist fighters took advantage of the chaos to seize the northern two-thirds of the arid nation.

Although the soldiers gave way to a civilian president and prime minister in April under international pressure, they have never been far from power and have shown their readiness to stamp their authority on divided and weak politicians.

Cheick Modibo Diarra resigned as prime minister hours after he was arrested trying to leave the country for former colonial power France and was brought to the ex-junta's headquarters at a barracks in Kati, just outside Bamako.

"I, Cheick Modibo Diarra, hereby resign with my entire government," a nervous-looking Diarra said in a short statement broadcast on state television early on Tuesday. Diarra is a former NASA scientist and Microsoft chief for Africa.

The officer who led the coup, Captain Amadou Sanogo, appeared on state television late on Tuesday to say his supporters had not used violence.

"We only facilitated it (the resignation)," he said.

"Some weeks ago he (Diarra) said if anyone wanted him to go, he would tender his resignation, not to the president, but to us. So yesterday, we saw that it was necessary for him to go," Sanogo added.

Minutes later, a news presenter read a decree from interim president Diouncounda Traore appointing Django Cissoko, a former senior official in the president's office, as the new prime minister.

JUNTA IN CONTROL

Fearing Mali has become a safe haven for terrorism and organized crime, West African leaders have signed off on a plan to send 3,300 soldiers to Mali to revamp its army and then support operations to retake the north.

But Diarra's arrest and the fresh political turmoil it has created in Bamako could discourage international partners from backing the plan until civilian rule is strengthened.

"What is really clear now is that the military junta is the one that is in control," said Gilles Yabi, head of the International Crisis Group's West Africa program.

"They have the weapons, they have the force and they are taking control of the transition ... the immediate obstacle in the crisis in Mali is now in Bamako and not the north," he said.

Sanogo has been repeatedly accused by his critics of political meddling since he stepped down and was given the task of overseeing reforms of Mali's army.

A soldier in Kati said he witnessed a tearful Diarra being scolded by Sanogo for having brought shame to the country.

The junta's involvement in the resignation provoked strong condemnation from the international community.

The United Nations Security Council in a statement warned it could impose targeted sanctions against those who "prevent the restoration of the constitutional order and take actions that undermine stability in Mali."

France, the keenest of the foreign powers to see rapid military action against Mali's northern Islamists, called on Tuesday for a new government to be set up under President Diouncounda Traore.

"These developments underline the need for the rapid deployment of an African stabilization force," French Foreign Ministry spokesman Philippe Lalliot told reporters in Paris.

Even before Diarra's arrest and resignation, support for the military intervention plan was not universal.

Despite France's desire to see military action against Islamist groups that include al Qaeda's North African wing, AQIM, the United States and the United Nations have expressed concern, saying the plan lacks necessary detail.

The United Nations said on Monday that Mali was "one of the potentially most explosive corners of the world".

"Discussions at the Security Council were already difficult. Now they are even more so," said a Bamako-based diplomat.

Some of Mali's politicians support the idea of a foreign-backed military operation. The arrival of a foreign force in Mali might weaken the sway of the former junta.

The European Union on Monday approved a plan to send 250 trainers to revamp Mali's military but stressed that the army would have to be under civilian authority.

"We need to continue to move forward on what the security arrangements are going to be to reinforce the legitimate military authorities in Mali," Victoria Nuland, a spokeswoman United States State Department, said. "And clearly they're going to need more help."

However others, including much of the military, are against a foreign troop deployment on Malian soil and say they need only financial and logistical support

Bakary Mariko, a spokesman for the former junta, said on Tuesday that the Malian army was ready to act even without international backing.

"We want the help of the international community but if it has to wait until September or until an undefined date, then the Malian army will act to free its territory," he said.

Pope Benedict used his Christmas message to the world on Tuesday to say people...

(Reuters) - Pope Benedict used his Christmas message to the world on Tuesday to say people should never lose hope for peace, even in conflict-riven Syria and in Nigeria where he spoke of "terrorism" against Christians.

Marking the eighth Christmas season of his pontificate, the 85-year-old read his "Urbi et Orbi" (to the city and the world) message to tens of thousands of people in St Peter's Square and to millions of others watching around the world.

Delivering Christmas greetings in 65 languages, Benedict used the Biblical analogy of the "good soil" to underscore his view that the hope represented by Christmas should never die, even in the most dire situations.

"This good earth exists, and today too, in 2012, from this earth truth has sprung up! Consequently, there is hope in the world, a hope in which we can trust, even at the most difficult times and in the most difficult situations," he said.

In his virtual tour of the some of the world's trouble spots, he reserved his toughest words for Syria, Nigeria and Mali.

"Yes, may peace spring up for the people of Syria, deeply wounded and divided by a conflict which does not spare even the defenseless and reaps innocent victims," he said.

"Once again I appeal for an end to the bloodshed, easier access for the relief of refugees and the displaced, and dialogue in the pursuit of a political solution to the conflict."

The leader of the world's 1.2 billion Roman Catholics also condemned conflicts in Mali and Nigeria, two countries where Islamist groups have waged violent campaigns.

"May the birth of Christ favor the return of peace in Mali and that of concord in Nigeria, where savage acts of terrorism continue to reap victims, particularly among Christians," he said.

CHURCH BOMBINGS

In Nigeria, the Islamist sect Boko Haram has killed hundreds in its campaign to impose sharia law in the north of the country, targeting a number of churches.

In Mali, a mix of Islamists with links to al Qaeda have occupied the country's north since April, destroying much of the region's religious heritage. They have also carried out amputations to help impose strict Islamic law on a population that has practiced a more moderate form of Islam for centuries.

Benedict also held out a Christmas olive branch to the new government in China, asking is members to "esteem the contributions of religions". China does not allow its Catholics to recognize the pope's authority, forcing them to be members of a parallel state-backed Church.

Late on Monday night, Benedict presided over a Christmas Eve Mass in St Peter's Basilica, where he urged people to find room for God in their fast-paced lives filled with the latest technological gadgets.

"Do we have time and space for him? Do we not actually turn away God himself? We begin to do so when we have no time for him," he said.

"The faster we can move, the more efficient our time-saving appliances become, the less time we have. And God? The question of God never seems urgent. Our time is already completely full," he said.

He said societies had reached the point where many people's thinking processes did not leave any room even for the existence of God.

"There is no room for him. Not even in our feelings and desires is there any room for him. We want ourselves. We want what we can seize hold of, we want happiness that is within our reach, we want our plans and purposes to succeed. We are so 'full' of ourselves that there is no room left for God."

(Editing by Andrew Osborn)

6 Things Men Enjoy That Might Surprise You

"6 Things Men Enjoy That Might Surprise You: What Men Love About Love"

Although most won't admit it, men love to be in love. In fact, many men need to be in a relationship more than women do. This is because a good relationship is settling for a man, a place where he can share feelings that he might not be able to talk about with anyone else. In our society, women are permitted to have close, bonded relationships with their girlfriends. They talk to each other openly, and turn to one another for support easily, but men don't. Believe it or not, for many guys their love relationship is the one place where they can allow themselves to be truly intimate. As a therapist in New York City, I've counseled many men in relationships who agree. And after interviewing men to write my first two books, Why Men Leave and What He Can't Tell You... and Needs to Say, six reasons emerged that explain what they really like about relationships. Check them out here. You might be surprised by what these guys say!




"6 Things Men Enjoy That Might Surprise You: Feeling Free Enough to Really Be Himself"

 "When I'm in a relationship, I'm a different man than when I'm not"; Bob said. "When I'm out there running around with the guys, I feel part of a pack, on the hunt. Sure, it can be fun for a while. But, believe me, every one of the guys in the group is hoping to meet someone each night. And I don't just mean someone for sex. I mean someone for everything, the 'real thing."When asked "what the real thing"; meant to him -- and his friends -- Bob grinned. It means someone who will take you for what you are. Who likes you that way. Who isn't going to start finding fault, but instead, start finding all the things about you that are terrific. When a guy is in a relationship where he is allowed to be himself, he feels more confident. He feels loveable and worthy. Just by being there, the woman he is dating or married to reminds him that she chose him out of all the others. This kind of feeling is hard to get in any other way. It helps all aspects of his life.




"6 Things Men Enjoy That Might Surprise You: Being Inspired to Be a Better Man"

Andy said he loves the challenge of relationships. He knows he has to work at it in order to make a love affair last. Relationships make me keep myself up, work out, look good, stay sharp, keep my eye on the competition. After all, I don't want her running off with some other guy. When things work out, I feel like a winner. I feel proud showing her off to my family and friends too. It's like I'm saying, look what I have. Look who I am. For many guys like Andy, relationships are a big ego boost. They keep them on the sharp edge of life, and force them to be the best they can.In, As Good As It Gets, Jack Nicholson's character says to Helen Hunt's, You make me want to be a better man, and it is indeed a compliment.




"6 Things Men Enjoy That Might Surprise You: Simply Having a Partner Who He Will See at the End of the Day"

For Tim, it's slightly different. Tim loves the rush of looking forward to spending a romantic weekend with the woman of his dreams. When I'm in a relationship, Tim said, the woman becomes the woman of my dreams. She's beautiful. She's fabulous. I think about her all week long and can't wait for us to be together on the weekend (or sometimes weeknights). It makes the whole day exciting. When things get boring or rough, I think of her and feel great. It's something to look forward to. It reminds me that there's a prize for me at the end of the road.For a guy like Tim, being in a relationship fills his life with fun and joy. Seeing his girlfriend's smile or hearing her voice becomes the reward for all of his hard work. His relationship reminds him that there's more to life than the rough times, and he can enjoy himself every day.




"6 Things Men Enjoy That Might Surprise You: Having the Chance to Make Your Day"

 Edgar said that what he loves about being in a relationship is knowing that he can make someone else happy. Knowing that he's capable of doing this makes him feel good inside. It's the best feeling in the world, he said, to see my girlfriend's face light up when I walk in the door. If I know she needs me and that I can make her happy, take some of her problems away, I feel terrific, like it's all worthwhile. This is a particularly interesting comment, because when I interviewed men for "Why Men Leave", the number one reason they said they left relationships was because they felt they could not satisfy their partner or meet her needs. Not being able to make someone happy made them feel inadequate. Men need to feel as though they're doing a good job. And they need to hear the acknowledgement of that from the woman they're with. When a man feels like he can please his girlfriend or wife, it makes him feel wonderful about himself.




"6 Things Men Enjoy That Might Surprise You: Enjoying the Sexy Returns"

Lanny had something else to say. I'll be really frank about it, he said. I love the sex. I need it. It's important to me. When I have good sex in my relationship, I feel happy all week long. When I don't, it makes me edgy. I love to know that a woman thinks I'm sexy. Of course both partners are nourished by a relationship that includes good sex. And sex can mean different things to people in relationships. But for many men, it simply helps them feel loved, approved, admired and acknowledged. It becomes like food that's impossible to live without.




"6 Things Men Enjoy That Might Surprise You: Sharing His Life With Someone"

What Mark loves about being in a relationship is having someone to come home to. This may sound strange, Mark said, but for me, it's great knowing that at the end of the day there's someone there, waiting for me. Whether that's because we're living together, or knowing that she's someone who I can call, it's comforting. That we check in with each other, go over the day, laugh at jokes and work things out. I need to have someone who cares about how things are going for me. This makes a huge difference in how I do at work.
Many men are bolstered in their work and supported in their everyday lives by simply having a partner who cares what happens to them. Someone who is there for them, to help them solve problems, big or small. This kind of care provides balance and stability. But even more importantly, it reminds men in relationships that they are not alone in a competitive workplace where it sometimes seems as though people only care about themselves.
Loving couples know that a relationship is a great gift for both partners. The men who don't seem to be able to commit because they run from one relationship to another, or avoid them altogether, might simply not be able to find the right person. A man truly needs to find someone who makes him feel safe and cared for, a woman who sees the best in him and lets him know it. When she shows that she is happy with him, he will appreciate the relationship more. After all, if she loves being in love with him, what could be more rewarding?


"Although most won't admit it, men love to be in love. In fact, many men need to be in a relationship more than women do. This is because ...","When I'm in a relationship, I'm a different man than when I'm not, Bob said. When I'm out there running around with the...","Andy said he loves the challenge of relationships. He knows he has to work at it in order to make a love affair last. Relationships...","For Tim, it's slightly different. Tim loves the rush of looking forward to spending a romantic weekend with the woman of his dreams. "Edgar said that what he loves about being in a relationship is knowing that he can make someone else happy. Knowing that he's capable of ...","Lanny had something else to say. I'll be really frank about it, he said. I love the sex. I need it. It's important to m...","What Mark loves about being in a relationship is having someone to come home to. This may sound strange... Mark said, but..."

Foods That Are Healthier Than You Think

1. Butter: While we’re not recommending you load up on butter, experts say naturally occurring saturated fats (like those found in butter, red meat and cheese) may actually be good to include in your diet in moderation (especially when compared with more processed fats like those found in margarine). “Butter made from grass-fed cows is high in conjugated linoleic acid, a fatty-acid linked to heart health and weight loss,” Batayneh says. “It also contains vitamin K2, (which boosts nervous system and cardiovascular function), as well as a healthy ratio of omega-3 to omega-6 fatty acids.” Batayneh recommends going organic with your butter since some non-organic dairy products can contain growth hormones and/or antibiotics.

   
   
   
   
   

   2. Cheese: Like butter, cheese also has a high saturated fat and calorie content, but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t have a place in a healthy balanced diet. Nutrient-rich, calcium-packed cheese also contains vitamin A, B12, riboflavin, zinc, and phosphorus, Batayneh says. Her top picks for the healthiest kinds of cheeses? Feta, string cheese, Parmesan, Swiss and cottage. “Cheese also contains conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), a newly discovered good fat found in animal protein and dairy that has been linked to cancer prevention. Experts believe that the combination of protein and fat in cheese is so satisfying that it quashes your appetite -- so full-fat cheese just may be the answer to cravings and weight maintenance.” That’s delicious news to us.

   
   
   

   3. Chocolate Milk (Made with Whole Milk): A creamy, chocolaty glass of milk is a stellar post-workout recovery drink, Batayneh says. “Chocolate milk has an ideal ratio of carbs to protein (3:1) for fueling post-workout muscle recovery -- the carbs replenish depleted carbohydrate stores after a long workout, while protein rebuilds tired muscles. Plus, it also packs bone-building calcium and sodium to restore electrolyte balances.” Make it even more beneficial by mixing yours up with whole milk, not skim, says Batayneh.

   “Whole milk contains more calories and fat than its low-fat and skim counterparts, but those extra calories and fat might pay off: studies have linked whole milk with a reduced risk of colon cancer, heart disease, and type 2 diabetes. Researchers from the University of Texas at Galveston found that whole milk boosted muscle repair and growth more than skim milk.” While whole milk does contain about 60 more calories and 7 more grams of fat than skim, Batayneh says the higher numbers are worth their weight in nutrition, so aim to cut some additional empty calories elsewhere to make up for it.

   
   
   

   4. Eggs: Eggs have been on and off the ‘healthy’ list numerous times over the years, but Cynthia Sass, MPH, a registered dietitian and author of S.A.S.S! Yourself Slim: Conquer Cravings, Drop Pounds and Lose Inches, says eggs (including their yolks) are full of nutrients and should be a part of your balanced diet. Egg yolks have vitamin D and choline, which your body uses to fight inflammation (a known trigger of aging and disease) and support brain health, muscle control and memory, says Sass. Recent research shows that choline may help break down fat deposits in your body, which may make eggs a great weight loss food too.

   When it comes to concerns about cholesterol, Sass says not to worry too much. “Whole eggs are high in cholesterol, but they’re low in saturated fat (one large egg contains just 1.5 grams, compared to the 3 grams found in a cup of 2 percent milk or 7 grams in a tablespoon of butter),” she explains. “And newer research has confirmed that saturated fat in the diet, not cholesterol, is what influences blood cholesterol levels the most.” Enjoy eating the whole egg -- the egg’s whites supply high quality protein, says Sass, and there are several healthy ways to eat them, includingsunny side up, hard-boiled and scrambled. Sass recommends scrambling eggs with antioxidant-rich seasonings like tumeric and pepper to add even more nutrition to your breakfast.

   

   5. White Wine:You probably know all about the health benefits of red wine, with its high levels of the anti-aging antioxidant resveratrol. But there’s good news for white wine drinkers too, Batayneh says. White wine deserves some love: it contains some different antioxidants that are just as powerful at improving cardiovascular function, says a study published in the Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry. And, Batanyeh adds, “additional research has found that the flavonoids and phenols found in white wine boost lung function.”

   
    

   6. Iceberg Lettuce: You’ve heard all about how healthy dark, leafy greens (like kale, collard greens and Swiss chard) are, but that doesn’t mean you have to throw out iceberg lettuce just yet, Batayneh says. This crispy (and often more palatable) lettuce is a good source of iron, vitamin B6, K, A, and C. It’s also higher in alpha-carotene (an antioxidant) than spinach, she says. And this low calorie, water-rich lettuce is the perfect base for a filling salad. For even more nutrients, Batayneh suggests mixing it with some darker greens (like kale, arugula, or mache), and topping it with a dressing that contains healthy fats to boost your body’s absorption of nutrients.

   
   
   

   7. Vinegar: means you may be better able to fight off cravings and stick with your healthy diet. And the good news is you don’t have to start trying to gulp down shots of the stuff to reap its healthy benefits either – a single tablespoon is enough. Batayneh recommends adding a tablespoon (or two) of balsamic or red wine vinegar to pasta and potato salads to help maintain steady blood sugar levels when eating starchy meals. Only have plain white distilled vinegar on hand? Use it! It still offers the same benefits and has a clean, crisp flavor that is ideal for marinades, she says.

   

   
   

   8. Coleslaw: Roswell Park Cancer Institute found that cooking cabbage destroys many of its nutrients,” she says. And there’s no need to feel bad about the fat content (3/4 cup contains about 11 grams, 1g saturated). The fat may actually help your body soak up all the nutrition contained in the cabbage.

   

   
   

   9.Coffee: The stats keep getting better for coffee drinkers – not only does it help improve concentration and boost your stamina before a workout, but new research shows it may also help prevent diseases like diabetes and Alzheimer’s. “Australian researchers found that for every cup of coffee drunk daily, the risk of developing type 2 diabetes decreases by 7 percent, Batayneh says. “It’s also been linked with a lower incidence of neurodegenerative disorders like Alzheimer’s disease and dementia: a 2009 study showed that those who reported drinking 3-5 cups of coffee daily were 65 percent less likely to develop these diseases,” she says. Just don’t overdo it, she warns. Toomuch of a good thing can have some bad side effects (like insomnia, jitters and anxiety). And avoid turning it into a calorie bomb by going easy on the sugar and cream.

   
   

   10.Orange Juice: Dietitians often caution against drinking fruit juices, opting instead for the whole fruit, which has more fiber and less sugar. But orange juice has a surprising health benefit, Batayneh says. High in vitamin C and folate, it contains compounds that have been shown to decrease the body’s inflammatory responses after a high-fat, high-carb meal that may lead to plaque buildup. It may also help lower blood pressure, she explains. To make the most out of your morning glass, Batayneh recommends enjoying a half-cup (4 ounces) serving of freshly squeezed juice and balancing it out with some protein rich eggs for breakfast.

   Fresh orange juice isn’t always so easy to squeeze, so if you have to buy it in a bottle, check the label. Don’t go for lower sugar juices like Trop 50, says Batayneh. “The reason your store bought orange juice is so consistently flavorful has more to do with chemistry than nature. To keep it healthy, be sure to look for an organic brand, make sure the label says ‘not from concentrate’ and stick with a 4 ounce serving.”

   

Spice Girls Reunite!

Get ready to spice up your life! Melanie Brown,Emma Bunton, Geri Halliwell and Melanie Chisholm pose together outside the Picadilly Theater before heading inside for the Gala Press Night performance of Viva Forever, the Spice Girls musical, in London on Dec. 11. Victoria Beckham was noticeable absent from the group photo -- but she arrived shortly after with her handsome family in tow.

7 Perfect Gift Guide: Little Luxuries Worth the Splurge

1. Cosmopolitan Mesh Trim Babydoll Set: This perfectly noir lingerie set nods to La Perla and Agent Provacateur, but without the insane price tag. To make it a truly knockout gift, add a roll of scented liners for her lingerie drawer.

   
   
   
   
   

2. Cuyana Leather Tote: For the woman who has amazing style and a big heart, may we suggest this gorgeous leather tote from Cuyana? The timeless caryall is handmade from the finest Argentinean leather—and the do-good brand donates a percentage of profits to a charity that provides clean water around the world.

   
   
   

3. Graphic Image 2013 Pocket Datebook: Even iPad addicts will relish jotting down lunch dates and flipping through the pale-colored maps in this leather datebook. It’s slim, sleek and edged in gold—and will remain a testament to her year even decades down the road. Choose the color that suits her personality, and make it bespoke with custom initials.

   
   
   

4. Dennis Basso Textured Faux Fur Throw: This handsome throw loves to cuddle and looks gorgeous just sitting there…what woman wouldn’t want that?

   
   
   

5. Same colour of nail polish and a bangle to match: Let her know that you have her at heart and also that you appreciate her beauty and willing to keep at all cost.

   
   
   

6. Hook + Lapel Flowers: These dashing, handmade lapel flowers come in two sizes and an array of felted wool, flannel and tweed. Just the thing to dress up that basic blazer or blouse for a holiday party.

   
   
   

7. The Giving Keys Necklaces: Make that special person feel like you own the key to your life by giving them a key necklace. Okay, all the adorable stuff aside, what really matters is the act of giving. So what better gift than these one-of-a-kind key necklaces, stamped with a personalized message and strung on a chain or cord of your choice? Each piece is intended to be worn for a time and then passed on to another wearer in need of similar inspiration.

   
   
   
   
   
   

   BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOUR ONE AND ONLY R4

   
   
   

18 Things Every Man Wants in Bed - It's More Than Just Dirty Talk

1. Enthusiasm: When it comes to sex, you can get an “A” for effort. Guys want to be with someone who’s actually into sex and not doing it as a favor or just going through the motions.
2. “There is nothing more seductive than an enthusiastic lover,” says Lou Paget, certified sex educator and author of The Big O: Orgasms: How to Have Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming. “That beats out the perfect body or the perfect face anytime. A man wants feedback that a woman is into doing things with him!”

3. New Tricks: Men want a lover who is willing to try new things from time to time. That doesn’t mean you have to go all 50 Shades of Grey. Just be open to ideas.

   “Sexual desire is like an appetite,” says Paget. “We all want to try different flavors -- otherwise we’d get bored eating at the same place all the time. Men want someone who is willing to explore unique feelings and new sensations.”  

   Worried that whatever you do is suddenly going to become part of your nightly repertoire? Don’t think of it as a can of worms. Most likely the occasional change-up is all he needs.

   
   
4. Praise: We normally think of women as the ones who need reassurance about their appearance, but men get insecure, too. A lover who will find something to compliment and worship about her partner will never lack affection from him.“Every man wants to know they have that special something that turns a woman on,” says Paget. “It could be something that turns her head or something like his intelligence or sense of humor that she finds incredibly sexy.”

5. Bossiness: It’s not a cliché, ladies. A man wants a woman who will tell him what to do -- at least in the bedroom. Most guys will be thankful for a little instruction, especially if it means they’ll succeed at pleasuring you.

   “A woman who can guide you with sounds or one word responses is preferred as it takes away the guess work,” says Paget. “Just remember to avoid acting like a sexual traffic cop!”

6. Confidence: Men want someone who will leave the lights on and let him get a good look at her. Stop worrying about covering up any squishy parts.

   “Indirect lighting is Hollywood’s best friend and it can be yours as well,” says Paget. “Need I repeat that men are visual creatures and they want to see their partner? It’s a big part of their turn-on factor.” 

   Confidence is sexier than anything!

7. Sex on the Brain: A woman who keeps sex in the forefront of her thoughts knows how to inject it into life outside the bedroom -- and that’s sexy. Try sexting him or be extra naughty and playful in public.

   “Do it in a discreet way,” say Paget. “Let your partner know that you’re thinking about sex throughout the day. Remember, your brain is your sexual power source.”

8. Flair for Fantasy: A man craves someone who will listen to his fantasies -- and tell him hers.

   “Many men are scared to share their fantasies as their partner may react by saying, ‘You have got to be kidding, that’s sick,’” says Paget. “You don’t need to give him his exact fantasy but instead try negotiating how you’d both like to feel during the fantasy. Create your own scenario together.”

9. Initiative: Guys want someone who sometimes initiates sex but also lets him “be the man”.

   “It’s in a man’s DNA to be the caretaker, which also translates into the bedroom,” says Dr. Sadie Allison, America’s Pleasure Coach. “So while most men love to be in charge, always being the initiator can get old. It’s hot when a woman takes control and shows him that she wants him. It’s actually every man’s fantasy to surrender for just a little while!”

10. Dirty Talk: Men love hearing a play-by-play of what’s happening during sex -- or what you want to happen next.

    “What men see, hear and feel are direct lines to the ‘other brain,’” says Allison. “Dirty talk is just another fun way to arouse your man. It also turns them on psychologically because men are super attracted to women who are sexually uninhibited.”

11. A Massage: What guy doesn’t want a woman who gives great… massages? And not just the sexual sort, though they can be very erotic. Men want to feel good all over, just like you do.

    “Touch is a basic human desire,” says Allison. “Sensual or not, it can be one of the greatest gifts a person can receive. Touching all over usually leads to something more fun anyway.”

12. Self-Love: Want him grateful and amazed?

    “A woman willing to touch and please herself in front of her man is confident in herself,” says Allison. “If you feel like a sexy woman you’ll create a steamy display that any man would want to bask in.”

    This is a huge turn-on for guys because it shows that you’re willing to share a very intimate act for his viewing pleasure.

13. Lace: You might think, why waste money on lingerie that’s just going to get crumpled up in a ball and tossed on the floor in two seconds? But men are visual and seeing the present they are about to unwrap is important to them!

    “A guy likes the ‘for his eyes only’ component of this, with the sneak peak of your body being a total turn-on,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., author of Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover. “Unwrapping you also boosts his ego because he knows you are like a gift, and all his.”

14. Necessary Roughness: Men don’t always want sex to be sweet, loving or romantic. Sometimes he wants it to be a little rough and dirty -- it isn’t always about the emotional connectedness between you.

    “He loves feeling desired,” says Fulbright. “He also loves that somebody is helping to fuel that dirty little mind of his!”

15. Spontaneity: Are you the girl who needs everything to be “just right” before you can do it? Or are you willing to pull over to a roadside motel and “just do it”?

    “The spontaneity fuels his libido given the sense of abandon,” says Fulbright. “He also likes the unknown of what could happen, and the novelty factor drives up dopamine in his brain.”

16. Sex Drive: No one is always in the mood, but the more effort you make, the more you'll end up wanting it.

    “He’ll be endeared that you want to please him, as this will make him feel loved and important,” says Fulbright. “He’ll also be impressed that you like to occasionally take one for the team and sometimes he’ll be the one to make it all about you.”

    A guy with a strong libido wants a woman who can keep up!

17. A Home-Body: Instead of planning a trip out on the town, make your bedroom the destination for a weekend -- we’re talking no breaks except to order takeout!

    “He’s going to like that he can just relax and not worry about coordinating anything or traveling,” says Fulbright. “He’ll also appreciate the opportunity to see your bedroom in a whole new light.”

18. Moves like Jagger: Whether it’s a certain position or a way that you finish him off, make up a signature move that’s all about him -- even name it after him! He wants to feel like he’s the only guy in your world, and this is a great way to let him know that.

    “He likes the special treatment and that it’s your own special thing and not something that you’ve shared with someone else,” says Fulbright.

19. Orgasmic Potential: Don’t fake it -- but if he makes you feel good do let him know, and do it expressively.

    “He likes that others can possibly overhear your pleasure, which reflects well on him,” says Fulbright. “He also gets off on hearing that you’re getting off!”

    Contrary to what you may think, a guy’s biggest pleasure is knowing that he pleased you.

    
    
    
    
    
    
    BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOUR ONE AND ONLY R4