Ryan Gosling: I Resolve to Keep New York City Safe
Last summer, Ryan Gosling broke up a street fight in Manhattan. Then in April, he saved a reporter from being hit by a cab. Lately, however, the Gangster Squad actor has been laying low. Who will rescue us now from wayward taxis? Who will use their perfect biceps to break up street fights? Come back, Ryan Gosling: New York City needs you!
Lindsay Lohan: I Resolve to Stop Nightclubbing Already!
Ever noticed how many of Lindsay Lohan's problems start in nightclubs? The crazy fight with her mother in October, the time she was assaulted in September, the time she assaulted someone else in November: each of these incidents happened during a long night of partying in New York City clubs. Lindsay clearly has problems beyond her social life, but clubbing seems to make them all worse. And now that her probation has been revoked, she can't afford any more slip-ups. We have to agree with the judge: it's time to find a new hobby!
Kristen Stewart: I Resolve to Stay Faithful to My Hot Boyfriend
This should be an easy one, right? Kristen Stewart seemed genuinely remorseful about cheating on boyfriend Robert Pattinson with director Rupert Sanders, calling it a "momentary indiscretion." In the end, it's probably a valuable lesson for the actress to learn: even a momentary indiscretion can be caught on camera forever! And hopefully she got that whole making-out-with-a-married-man thing out of her system. Who needs a wandering eye when you're coming home to Robert Pattinson?
Rihanna: I Resolve to Leave Some Secrets For the Bedroom
Rihanna is fierce, she is unapologetic, she is her own woman. But can't she find some way to express these qualities besides taking her clothes off? The magazine covers are one thing, but the constant stream of half-naked pictures on Twitter (of herself and Chris Brown) makes us question Rihanna's boundaries. It's time for her to respect her own privacy, and realize that some things are best left un-tweeted.
Taylor Swift: I Resolve to Date Somebody for More Than Three Months
Judging from her songs, Taylor Swift has had her share of heartbreak. Maybe that's why she always seems to bolt after her relationships hit the three-month mark (a la Connor Kennedy!). As much as we love a good break-up ballad, we think Taylor should try keeping the next guy around for a while. (Harry Styles seems like a good one!) It takes some courage to commit to love, but it's so often worth the risk.
Ryan Seacrest: I Resolve to Leave Some Jobs for Everybody Else
Yes, we know he's got a reputation to maintain as the hardest-working man in show business. But he can't take all the jobs, can he? Currently, Ryan Seacrest is hosting American Idol, his own radio show and the New Year's Rockin' Eve celebration, plus working as a special correspondent for NBC News, and he's rumored to be up for Matt Lauer's job whenever he leaves Today. And people wonder why there's an unemployment problem!
LeAnn Rimes & Brandi Glanville: I Resolve to Keep My Tweets Kid-Free
After three years of feuding, it's pretty clear that Brandi Glanville and LeAnn Rimes will never be best friends. But we'd love for them to agree on one thing: leaving Mason and Jake, Brandi's sons and LeAnn's stepsons with Eddie Cibrian, out of the drama. Whenever one of them mentions the boys on Twitter (no matter how innocently!), it inevitably kicks off another round of their vicious mommy war. If both women stopped broadcasting their precious family moments online, they'd have one less thing to fight about -- and those poor kids could stop being ammunition in a fight that has nothing to do with them
Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt: We Resolve to Sell Our Wedding Photos for Charity
Remember how excited everyone was for the royal wedding? Well, this is the celebrity version. While Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are entitled to their privacy, we think it would be criminal not to share photos (or even -- dare we say it? -- video) of the big event. Think of how much money they could raise for the Jolie-Pitt Foundation! Think of how adorable those six kids will look in their little Vera Wang bridesmaid dresses and miniature Tom Ford tuxedos! Come on, guys -- do it for charity. And for us.
Anne Hathaway: I Resolve to Take a Role That Requires Eating, Not Starving, For a Change!
She committed to a brutal diet-and-exercise regime for The Dark Knight Rises, then basically starved herself for her role in Les Miserables. Anne Hathaway is a seriously dedicated actress -- and, we're guessing, a hungry one! For her own well-being, we'd love to see her commit to a role that allows her to eat dessert. The Mae West Story, perhaps?
Prince Harry: I Resolve to Keep My Clothes On -- Around Strangers, Anyhow
We do appreciate how nice Prince Harry looks in the buff, but seriously -- what was he thinking, partying naked in a foreign country with some girls he'd literally just met? That behavior would be questionable in a frat boy, and it's downright crazy for a member of England's royal family. Harry may charm the pants off of everyone he meets, but from now on, he should resolve to party with his own pants on.
Justin Timberlake: I Resolve to Get Some New Friends
Sometimes a good guy runs with a bad crowd. That may be the case with Justin Timberlake, whose friends congratulated him on his wedding to Jessica Biel with a truly tasteless gift: a video of homeless people unknowingly offering the pop star their congratulations. After the tape was leaked online, Timberlake issued an apology -- but left us questioning the company he keeps. Maybe he should go back to hanging out with those nice*N'Sync boys.
Madonna: I Resolve to Stop Trying So Hard to Be Shocking
She's always been the mother of reinvention, but lately, Madonna only seems interested in shock value. Whether it's flashing her audience or incorporating swastikas into her show, her recent stunts have all seemed more like cries for attention than savvy showmanship. We still love you, Madonna, but it's time to drop this act and try something new.
Channing Tatum: I Resolve to Bring Back the Musical Comedy!
There's no doubt about it -- this was Channing Tatum's year. Already an action star, he proved he could also do comedy (21 Jump Street), romance (The Vow) and sexy dancing (Magic Mike). So here's our assignment for Channing: combine those three skills and make an old-fashioned musical comedy. We're excited about Les Miserables and all, but times are tough, and a little Fred Astaire-style entertainment would lift everybody's spirits. And hey, he already has a Ginger in wife Jenna Dewan.
Teresa Guidice: I Resolve to Step Away From the Cameras
The Real Housewives of New Jersey has been a lot less fun since it turned into an all-out war between Teresa Giudice, her relatives and her former best friends. To make matters worse, Teresa clearly has unresolved issues at home: her husband Joe may be cheating on her and/or facing jail time, and her daughters are struggling to understand what's happening to their family. Living by Bravo's rules has made Teresa famous -- but is it worth the loss of her friends and family? If she doesn't get out now, she may have nobody left.
Amy Poehler: I Resolve to Go on One Date with Louis CK
They're two of our favorite comedians, they're both single, and they were so cute together on Parks & Recreation -- so how about just one date? We're not necessarily saying that Amy Poehler and Louis CK will fall madly in love, get married, then go on to co-create the funniest show in TV history. But it couldn't hurt to try…right?
Gwyneth Paltrow: I Resolve to Write a Recession Issue of GOOP
As much as we enjoy gawking at Gwyneth Paltrow's elaborate vegan recipes and extravagant gift recommendations (what's an "iPod horn" and why does it cost a thousand dollars?), we'd love to see what she'd do with an average woman's budget. Could Gwyneth make a gourmet meal with ingredients found at Walmart? How about a perfect gift from the dollar store? That's one issue of GOOP we'd definitely want to read!
Ashton Kutcher: I Resolve to Avoid Any Comedy That Requires an Accent
Ashton Kutcher faced accusations of racism this spring, when he played an Indian man in a Popchips ad. The commercial was quickly pulled off the air, but Kutcher really should have known better than to make it in the first place. We recommend that he follow our simple guideline from now on. Playing Steve Jobs seems like a good start!
Danny DeVito & Rhea Perlman: We Resolve to Give it Our Best Shot
We were all upset by the news the one of Hollywood's most enduring (and endearing) couples, Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman, were splitting up after 30 years. So when Danny said in December that he and Rita were "working on" saving their marriage, our hearts leapt. We don't know the exact circumstances of their breakup, but we hope those crazy kids can find a way to be happy. We're rooting for 'em.
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